R.I.P. MSN, the only messenger that allowed me to send a giant unavoidable popup of a pig shaking his ass to funky techno music to my conversational partner if they were ignoring me
i saw a white boy playing an acoustic guitar on his porch so i yelled at him “play wonderwall” and he said he never heard of that song god what’s the fucking point of white boys if u can’t even make fun of them
christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”
"a career" "financial security" "a sex life" "tuition for grad school" "alcohol" "a nap" "socks would be nice"